• School started yesterday. Ick.
• Woke up at noon from a phone call inviting me to my first medical school interview 2 days ago. Yes!
• Basically melting in hot Texas weather. Gross.
• Got my boyfriend listening to BIG BANG. Laughing on the inside. :)
• Trying to find a job to have a source of extra cash. Search = not successful.

Today was also the best school day I’ve ever had — my first and only class of the day started at 11 and ended promptly at 11:25. I love the first days of school where professors basically just go over the syllabus. The only downside is that I don’t know what to do with my time. Hahaha.

I’ve also been working on a (much more eye-pleasing) new theme. The colors are way better this time around, I think, but I’m just too darn lazy to finish deciding where everything’s going to go and then code it all. Knowing me, it’ll show up right in the middle of the night later this semester when I’m supposed to be studying for the 3 tests I have scheduled over the course of the next few days…because that’s how I roll.

Why do you want to be a doctor?

Nearly every pre-med student has a story about a death or illness of a family member or a close loved one. I’m definitely no exception, but I was once told that to use such a story as your sole motivation is selfish. Yes, the experience may have profoundly motivated and changed you, but using that as your sole reason relies on the emotions inherent in the type of event it was.

So while the death of someone important to me did influence my decision to pursue medicine, there are also multiple other factors that have weighed in on that choice. Unlike some, I never actually thought I wanted to become a doctor. In fact, I distinctly remember telling my parents that I would never pursue medicine because I didn’t think I was cut out for it. I applied to college thinking that I would be a business major, but things ended up working so that I would enter the University of Texas at Austin as a freshman pursuing a biology degree. (I got the short end of the stick — the McCombs School of Business passed up my application, and I got into my second choice major. Hah.)

I’ve always held a love for the sciences, never really thinking I would make something out of it, so I took my fundamental science courses just to get them out of the way under the impression that I would be applying to transfer into the business school at the end of my freshman year. At the same time, I also got into a program that would allow me to start working in a research lab in my first year of college — working in this lab changed my mindset a lot, and I found out that I really enjoyed the kind of critical thinking skills I developed and used. At this point, I liked it so much that I became interested in pursuing a graduate degree in the sciences.

After a certain time, I realized that I wasn’t really comfortable enough with the isolation that happens in a research lab. Yes, you have peers and colleagues working in the same room, but for the most part you are designing and executing your own research projects yourself. I really enjoy teamwork, so I asked my mentors and older friends what I should do: they told me to shadow a doctor and to see if I liked it.

My first time doing so involved me actually scrubbing into an OR of a world class cancer center and actually holding a clamp keeping an incision the surgeon made open. I stood for several hours while the surgeon and resident worked on the patient, meticulously cutting to remove a baseball-sized teratoma from the patient’s abdomen. It was a fascinating and incredible experience: much like how the patient’s tumor was found by complete serendipity (after a non-routine CT scan ordered after a car accident), my sudden appreciation for medicine was an accident in of itself. I found that medicine had the right mix of thinking skills, teamwork, and daily interaction with people that I sought for in a career that I would be engaged in for the rest of my life. It’s never boring — the field is continuously changing and making advances, so in a way you’re always a student.

Plus, having the ability to affect people’s lives in such a relatively short amount of time and seeing the positive results of hard work is really something to behold.

I’ve tried finding an applicable WordPress plugin that would integrate a Formspring.me account or a box where visitors can ask questions more seamlessly, but everything I’ve found was unfortunately defunct, not free, or would require me to completely scrap a WordPress blog and move over to Tumblr system. For the time being, please head over to the Ask Tamisa! page or my Formspring.me account if you’ve got a burning question wanting to be answered. (If you’ve got an idea or found a plugin that will help me solve my dilemma, feel free to leave a comment or email me!)

What?? Did 2 and a half months of summer really pass by?? A fitting tune –

Unfortunately, my summer wasn’t as epic as Hans Zimmer’s (beautiful masterpiece of a) song might make you believe. Highlights of my summer:

• Seeing part of a brain surgery — the patient’s actual brain was exposed and pulsating (giving me a brief feeling of “Oh my god, that’s a brain — what do I do??”), and I watched electrodes being put in for an epilepsy/seizure study.
• On a similar note, seeing part of someone’s sensory nerves being pulled out of his calf during a biopsy. Unsurprisingly stringy.
• Realizing that I like working with kids a lot more than I like working with adults. Heh.
• The Tiffany & Co. story — and I’m still harboring a secret jealousy of my sister, if anyone’s keeping track.
• As of August 4, 2010: I am complete at all medical schools I’ve applied to, save one. I’m slowly working on that last secondary — then it’s waiting time for interviews. I wish I could say that I feel accomplished having done so, but I won’t be placated until I (hopefully) receive my first medical school acceptance. Crossing my fingers!

I’ve never really had a summer during college where I sat down and completely bummed — my past two summers were spent in Austin, where I conducted research and mentored my peers. Last summer, I also dropped 2 grand and took an MCAT class. And while this was the first summer I’ve spent at home, I was actively shadowing doctors near my home and in the Texas Medical Center (paying for parking blows) and took two online courses at my local community college while also applying to medical school. I’m really looking forward to next summer, where I can hopefully be a certified couch potato before embarking on a new chapter in my life.

1. The Alchemist, Paolo Coelho

• Easily one of my favorite books of all-time, if not my all-time favorite. You’d think a book so small would be a light read, but The Alchemist is jam packed with such profound statements that I was so surprised by the end of my first run through. (“What the heck did I just read? SO AMAZING.”) I’ve read some of Coelho’s other novels, but none of them have lived up to this one, in my opinion.

2. Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen

• It’s basically the mother of all chick lit…and everyone needs themselves a little Mr. Darcy.

3. The Time Traveler’s Wife, Audrey Niffenegger

• Picked it up in an airport bookstore on a whim on the way to Asia. It’s a really different kind of love story, but a really easy read. I recommend this book to every girl looking for something to pull at her heartstrings :)

4. Something to Someone, Javan

• I’m not one for poetry, but Javan has such captivating prose that I can’t help but be sucked in by his words. I have all four of his published books of poetry, but this one strikes me the most. (Off note: e.e. cummings is my all-time favorite poet, but I don’t have hard copies of any of his poetry. Must buy soon!!)

5. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, J.K. Rowling

• Harry Potter is one of the benchmarks of my teenage years, and this was my favorite installment because of one character: SNAPE.

6. The Amber Spyglass, Phillip Pullman

• His Dark Materials — what can be said that hasn’t already been said? Read the trilogy if you already haven’t. The last book in the series leaves the biggest imprint in my brain because as a little girl reading it, I teared up at what happened in the last couple of pages. (Seriously.) Will and Lyra, ugh.

7. Flowers for Algernon, Daniel Keyes
8. Peony in Love, Lisa See

• It’s not necessarily one of the best books ever written, but it’s struck me with its use of exquisite imagery and bittersweet love story.

9. Mountains Beyond Mountains, Tracy Kidder

• The quintessential “pre-med” book — apparently it shows up in a lot of personal statements hahaha.

10. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

• Let it just be known that I hate this book with a passion.

11. Crime and Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
12. The Last Lecture, Randy Pausch

• This is definitely one of the most inspiring books I have ever read. Randy Pausch is definitely a figure to be reckoned with: although he was diagnosed with terminal cancer (and has passed away since writing this book), he made the most of his time left and gave an amazingly profound “last” lecture at Carnegie Mellon (where he is a professor). I first watched this lecture on YouTube and knew I had to have this book — it’s a great read when you’re feeling particularly down and uninspired.

13. The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien

• I tried to enjoy this novel. I really did…but I never got past the first 30 pages. It’s on this list because of how utterly boring it was.

14. Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut
15. The Sound and the Fury, William Faulkner

The last two are on this list also because of how much I hated reading them. I literally had no clue what was going on while I was reading them, which didn’t bode well for me because they were required reading in my AP English class during my junior year of high school. As expected, it didn’t turn out so well for me. (Hahaha.)

Meanwhile, books that I own but haven’t read (and need to read!):

1. Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
2. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
3. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
4. The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards
5. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
6. The World According to Garp by John Irving

So little time, so many books to read!

Entitled Solar, this album is arguably Taeyang’s (Korean: 태양) first foray into the Korean music industry as a solo artist. (If you don’t count the release of his previous EP Hot, that is.) It personally took me a couple of listens to get acquainted and familiarized with the album — and I have to say that I love it. Some of my favorite tracks:

I’m actually in love with the whole album, except for the song You’re My — it’s way too cheesy for me to take it seriously. There’s also previous hits Wedding Dress (which may or may not be my all-time favorite Taeyang song) and Where U At for us “old school” Taeyang lovers looking for something a little familiar.

This album is generally described as a hit or miss: you either love it or don’t really care for it. It’s a lot different from the songs that were present on his previous EP, and it’s taken some time for some of the fans to get used to; I guess it’s easier for me to adjust to because the music on Solar is similar to the type of music you would find in the “American” R&B scene.

I think it’s definitely worth a listen if you’re trying to find new music to listen to. Plus, you know, the man isn’t half bad to look at :)

And I feel I should also provide this little disclaimer: I abhor the Twilight series, and I absolutely love the original Airbender cartoon series from Nickolodeon.

Like any other fan of any source material, I’m generally pretty excited when there’s an announcement that a movie adaptation is going to be made. I wasn’t really expecting much — I always seem to prefer the source material to its movie adaptation, and the backlash M. Night Shyamalan has gotten for “racebending” resulted in low expectations — but I couldn’t believe that mother freaking Eclipse, the third installment of the IQ-lowering Twilight series, had gotten a substantially higher rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

I tend to regard Twilight movies as comedies — they’re always good for a laugh. The acting is stale, the plot is horrible, and the fight scenes are, at best, mediocre. Yesterday, I set out to find the truth behind the ratings — could Rotten Tomatoes be true??? (Surely, not!)

On Eclipse (a.k.a. I bet RPattz is regretting his decision to take on the role of Edward right about now)

I watched Eclipse first. My logic was this: any following movie that I watch afterwards surely couldn’t be worse. It’s a pretty well known fact that Twilight has more or less become a cultural phenomenon, and it’s one that I particularly don’t understand. I have read all four books in the installment trying to figure out what teenage girls and their mothers find enthralling about it. (Off note: my mother recently watched Twilight on TV and thought it was “romantic” and “cute.” The biggest bashing fest ensued in my household, with my sister and I trying to make my mom see the light — and not the light Edward gives off when he sparkles. What kind of self-respecting vampire SPARKLES??) My biggest regret is the money wasted buying the books and the fact that I have to hide the books in my bookshelf to save myself from embarrassment if anyone happens to see that I actually own them.

It’s pretty much a given that I go in watching these movies with absurdly low expectations. The stiff acting of RPattz, KStew, and Taylor Lautner (TLaut?) are almost unbearable to watch, but they never fail to elict laughter from me — which is pretty much the only reason I’d voluntarily waste time watching them. That being said, I laughed considerably less in Eclipse than when watching its predecessors, which may or may not be because 1) there was an improvement in acting?, 2) random chance, or 3) I just tuned everything out. Things taken from the movie:

1. Our dear Bella is a horny teenager. So is Edward, but he’s more concerned about her ~virtue~, even though he likes to sneak into her room in the middle of the night to watch her sleep like a creeper.
2. Werewolves never wear shirts.
3. Bella is still useless.
4. Edward is still useless.
5. And the best message of all: it’s okay to give up everything in life and abandon your family for a guy because nothing can fight the power of love.

On The Last Airbender (a.k.a. what the f did I just watch)

I was confused with the movie from the get go — it seems M. Night Shyamalan decided to change everything about the original cartoon. Not only did he cast visibly different actors from the original characters (which I honestly would not have a problem with if the actors had actually been good at acting like he claimed them to be), but he also decided to change the pronunciation of names, etc. of various things in the movie. I had to watch the scene with Katara calling Sokka’s name a few times because I was so sure she said Zuko’s…but he was no where to be found. Who the heck is “Sow-ka?” And “Ong?” And “the oovatar?” (I really didn’t know how to phonetically spell that. It was just weird.)

And oh, dear Dev Patel…Dev was so adorable in Slumdog Millionaire, which pretty much shot him to fame. I really really wanted to like Dev in this movie. Zuko is my favorite character from the series, and I was happy that at least I liked the actor who was cast to portray him in the movie adaptation. But holy crap on a stick — Dev sucked in this movie. I get that he wanted to expand his acting repertoire to include someone who was different from the role he became famous for, but  good god — Dev, tone down the anger. Really. You overacted being angry so much that you made it ridiculous. It was kind of like watching Edward catching a scent of Bella when she first walks into the classroom. (DID HE JIZZ IN HIS PANTS??)

I really tried to watch this movie as someone who wasn’t a fan of the cartoon series. Would a neutral movie watcher enjoy this movie? I don’t think so.

It’s hard to believe, but the acting in this movie is worse than that in Eclipse. The only actors who I really enjoyed were the ones who portrayed Iroh and perhaps even Zhao. The acting was so bad that I started to multitask and do other things while watching this movie, sometimes even changing what I happened to be looking at on the screen and just listen to the audio. I’d say it was pretty on par with the acting that I saw in Twilight…which was pretty frickin’ horrible. (Coincidentally, it’s also the most comedic installment of the Twilight movie series. Correlation? Definitely.)

The movie also seemed kind of fast paced. If you weren’t familiar with the cartoon, I’m sure you would have definitely been confused, even with the attempts of the cast trying to explain everything that was going on with voice-over narration.

Good points to the movie?

1. The sets. I only wish everything else could compliment how well the sets were constructed.
2. The appearance of Azula at the end of the movie. It’s probably the one thing that will make me watch the second installment of this movie trilogy. I really hope the actress delivers.
3. CG? Appa and Momo were pretty cool. Hah.

Yeah, that’s all I got.

So, is The Last Airbender really worse than Eclipse?

Definitely. I found that my problem with Eclipse as a movie was primarily the message that was getting across, which I suppose can’t be helped in a movie adaptation of a novel. My problem with The Last Airbender encompasses so much more: the movie as a whole wasn’t enjoyable at all. All of the main actors were so incredibly mediocre, so without any feeling, that I found it hard to believe that M. Night Shyamalan personally believed he had cast the best he could find. If you were to compare 99.9% of the aspects of The Last Airbender with those of Eclipse, I think you’d find that they’re all subpar. Eclipse is already a horrible movie in my eyes without even watching it just by what it is, but for me to admit that The Last Airbender is worse is pretty telling — I thought it was impossible for me to say that anything is worse than Twilight.

THE APOCALYPSE HAS COME.

It’s funny how something you’ve mocked up or visually drafted can look so awesome initially, but after a period of time, you grow to get sick of it. I absolutely hated the “Big Bird” theme I had up before, so I decided to change it. I spent the better part of the afternoon/evening working on this theme — I might end up changing the colors later, but for the most part I think this layout is here to stay for a long time. (Or at least what constitutes a long time in my book, anyways.) My favorite parts are definitely the bottom div (which actually gave me a lot of grief) and the header. For the easily amused, image rollovers = win.

My morning was spent “shadowing” a neurologist at UT Houston. I put shadowing in quotation marks because today’s time spent observing her equaled a whopping 30 minutes — less than the time it took for me to drive downtown to the Texas Medical Center, get my TB test read, pick up my name badge, drive over to her secretary’s office building, park my car, walk over to the building to find her secretary, walk across the street with the secretary to said neurologist’s clinic, and finally find said neurologist at said clinic. I came at the time she specified for me, but I was only able to catch her stitching up a patient’s calf from a nerve biopsy she just performed (blood and ooze, galore!!).

Don’t get me wrong; I’m extremely appreciative of the opportunity she’s giving me, but I was only slightly disappointed with my first day. Good news: I still have more days to shadow her, and she’s extremely nice. Bad news: will I have to pay an extravagant amount of money for parking every time I drive downtown to observe?

The pediatric cardiologist I’m also shadowing this summer is on vacation for the next two weeks. Kind of sad, since I was only able to spend an afternoon with her once before she left — but it was a very exciting day. Saw two patients with Marfan’s, an ultrasound being done, a basically newborn baby with a hole in between his ventricles, and a patient she’s been following for about seven years who has had multiple surgeries to address the holes in his heart and mitral valve issue. I’ll have two more opportunities with her after she gets back though, and I’m looking forward to it — her office is literally a minute away from my house by car, and parking is free!

All of this just makes me want medical school more. Too bad writing secondary essays suck. I’ve completed 2 of the 7 I need to do, and up next is Baylor. BCM’s basically been my dream school since I’ve decided to pursue medicine because 1) it’s close to home, 2) situated at the Texas Medical Center, 3) pre-clinical years are slightly shortened, and 4) it’s Baylor. Ugh, here’s hoping.

…not. Hahaha. (But no, really — I think that would be the cutest and arguably the best way to inform your significant other that you’re about to have a child if you guys were actually planning on it.)

The point of this post? To narrate my adventures in the world of baby care! This summer, I chanced upon and took advantage of the opportunity to shadow a pediatrician. Needless to say, it’s a lot different than what I expected it to be — I was expecting to really hate it or maybe even not to care for it. Most of the time, I can only stand babies and toddlers when they’re quiet, and when I see and hear little kids crying, throwing temper tantrums, and making an overall fuss in any public place, I tend to get a little irritated.

But after roughly 4 days of following a pediatrician around, I find myself enamoured by babies. I’ve seen teeny tiny premature babies, chubby cooing babies, toddlers, small children, and teenagers — my favorite ones to see are definitely the 3 year old babies; they’re much easier to handle during a regular check up (not as much screaming!). Winner of the highest cute factor are definitely babies 2 years old or younger; premies win highest fascination factor (their fingers and toes are so tiny, so I just keep staring at them).

I don’t know if this is a common thing or what, but being surrounded by so many tiny people kind of makes me want to have a baby of my own. And I know that’s just blasphemy, and I’m not ready for the responsibility (not to mention there’s no way I can independently support myself, much less a baby), but those are the kind of thoughts that are running in my head. At this point, I can’t wait to settle down, buy a house, and start reproducing. Hahaha.

He opened the velvet display box he had with him, looked at my sister, and asked, “Could you do me the pleasure of trying on some diamond rings?”

Natural reaction: is he kidding? Is this a dream?? Is this how they lure people into purchasing their rings — making them try them on and then realizing, “oh my god, I need this ring?” The rep, probably seeing our hesitant (and flabbergasted) expressions, then points at a shy groom-to-be across the counter — “It’s for him. He’d like to see what the rings look like on a finger.”

My reaction: why didn’t he ask me? (insert whiny voice here) To say I wasn’t jealous of my sister, who got to try on a 1 carat, 1.5 carat, and 1.75 carat (sparkling, glistening, amazingly amazing) diamond ring, would be outright lying. Because face it — it’s the dream of at least 75% of the female population to be proposed to and get married in their dream wedding. I “oohed” and “ahhed” as each ring was put on and then taken off with I’m sure was a big fat cheesy smile on my face. I offered my congratulations as we left the store — I can only imagine how happy that bride-to-be is/will be!

Also I have to congratulate Paola on her engagement yet again — because, you know, after doing so on Facebook, Twitter, and your blog, it would only make sense to do so again on mine. I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. Another friend of mine from elementary school who I really hadn’t been in touch with since middle school also messaged me on Facebook a couple of weeks ago about her own engagement/upcoming wedding. Agh, so jealous. I guess it’s that time in my life where everyone starts getting married!

Other news: I’ve been bumming most of my summer vacation thus far watching Asian dramas (big surprise). I most recently finished Personal Taste and am currently waiting the subs of the last episode of Prosector Princess. I’m planning a proper review of both later, but all I have to say is that Prosecutor Princess is soo good. Somehow, I always end up falling for the male leads in dramas. I mean, Park Shi Hoon and Gong Yoo are not what I would usually call attractive:

Also, re: medical school apps — my personal statement draft is done! I’ve messaged a couple of people on the SDN Personal Statement Reader List for this cycle, but only one has responded to me so far and has edited/critiqued it. I’m having trouble finding people who will do that for me, but I guess that’s life.

I’m also done filling out every section on AMCAS/TMDSAS sans the personal statement, and I’m waiting on my rec letters. This is so daunting — I’m actually going through with the application process. I’ll probably be submitting my primary application sometime really soon, and I’ll be working on my secondary application soon thereafter. Gah.

1. Using custom fonts! I used this quick and easy tutorial by the lovely Jenny to replace all <h1> tags and the page menu with a font I’ve been in love with recently – District Thin. I really love how it turned out!
2. Integrating Lifestream. I’ve been wanting to integrate the Lifestream Plugin for a while now, but I never got around to it. Unfortunately for me, there’s still some kinks that need to be worked out — the Lifestream page only seems to look right in Internet Explorer (that’s a first!!) and is giving me problems in Chrome and Firefox. I haven’t checked Safari, but I’m assured by Marjorie that it looks right. Anyone know why? :(

I spent 7 or 8 hours straight from 9 at night to 5 in the morning completing the look (from designing to coding), and despite all the frustrations WordPress gives me, I was really happy while doing it. (Does that make me sound like a coding masochist? Hahahaha.) I think all in all, I’ve accomplished what I wanted to do with the look — something simple and clean. On the downside, I thought there was originally too much yellow going on (namely links), so I made entry links and sidebar links different colors. I’m not sure if it looks weird or not.

Other news: got my MCAT score about a month ago, but I never got around to updating about my road to medical school. Despite walking out of the testing center feeling severely discouraged, I was happy to find that my real score was an accurate reflection of my AAMC diagnostic averages — even though I only took two practice tests! It was actually my second time taking the exam (the first being right after summer in September), so my advice to those who are in the same boat would be:

• If you plan on taking an August or September MCAT, seriously prepare during the summer. I think this was my biggest problem the first time around. Because I had 2 and a half months prepare for a 5 hour test, I severely underestimated the MCAT monster — it probably didn’t also help that I have a really really bad procrastination habit. I took the exam knowing that I wasn’t fully prepared, and while I didn’t do horribly for Texas standards, I did horribly compared to my own.
• Know what your weaknesses are, and fix them. The Physical Sciences section was my Achilles’ heel. So the second time around, I bought books known to be the best preparer for that section and drilled myself for my second examination. Reading through material isn’t enough to do well on the MCAT — you must know your information, and then you must know how to use that information. There’s a fine distinction between the two.
• Take those practice tests how you would on your actual examination date! That means no longer than 10 minute breaks, and no pausing during your actual diagnostics. When I took practice tests, I found myself really tired between the Physical Sciences and Verbal Reasoning sections, so I decided to prepare a snack to eat during the break between the two. I also found out that I tend to lose concentration during the Biological Sciences section because it’s the last part of the test (FREEDOM!!), so I was actively telling myself to focus during all exams.
• Don’t take the exam until you have been hitting your goal score. Probably my second biggest problem. I knew that I hadn’t been hitting my personal goal, and I took the September test anyways. Not my brightest moment.

The biggest difference in preparing for my first September administration and my second March administration was that I didn’t take all that information into account. Taking diagnostics upon diagnostics without actually taking the time to seriously review doesn’t help — in preparing for the September test, I probably took a total of 13 practice tests. I scored lower on the September test than on the March test, even though I had only taken 2 practice tests before the March administration. Moral of the story? Be active in preparing, work hard, and you’ll do well.