There are many things in the world I don’t understand. Theoretical physics, politics, my unbreakable procrastination habit…I can deal with all of them because I know I can accept and overcome them if I really put my heart into it. But when the life of a close friend is unexpectedly taken away, I find myself questioning everything.

As a Buddhist, you are taught that death is a natural part of life, no matter if the death is accidental or occurs after a long, fulfilling life. Death is universal; no where will you find a family who has not experienced the loss of a loved one. Suffering is inevitable; we all experience pain and loss, but understanding it will bring you enlightenment. I suppose these things were easy for me to accept without having truly suffered — words can mean nothing to you until you experience certain things. I’ve had a few friends die tragically extremely young (Calvin, James), but none of them hit home as hard as Peter.

Peter was a lot of things to me. Because I’m a year younger than him, he was naturally my mentor in all aspects of life. One of his greatest traits is the fact that he was always willing to provide advice and answer any questions I had about anything. He was one of the greatest friends you could ask for; he was a model student with a brilliant mind and someone who you could look up to; he was my roommate, given that I’m always over at my boyfriend’s apartment; and he was a rock for me and for others. I am definitely feeling this loss — Peter was a lively guy, and without him the apartment is so eerily quiet. I keep expecting to find him sleeping the day away on his bed or at his desk watching random things. I keep expecting to find that he’ll come through that door with his distinctive laugh. He had an amazingly bright future ahead of him; he had been accepted into several medical schools and would have matriculated into UTMB’s M.D./Ph.D. program.

I am still coming to terms with what happened, and the only solace I can find is thinking that he’s in a better place now. One of my friends said it best: “Life can be a funny thing — our impact on others while alive sometimes cannot be made evident until our deaths.” Peter was a strong Christian, and I think he would have found something ironically beautiful about passing away during Easter weekend. The wake and funeral service are being held this weekend, and I hope to give him a proper farewell then.

Rest in peace, Peter Cho.